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Here Now

by Isobel Knight

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1.
You walked in like an angel saying “Do not be afraid” I told you I’m not scared I just don’t know what to say You said “That’s rare” I said “I know” Neither of us heard the last bus go So you walked home down King Street on your own Am I speaking another language? Am I miming things you can’t see? This feels like nodding over the telephone Almost funny, only because of how much we can’t see I’m not a perfect conversationalist I don’t know how to be a thing you’ll miss I don’t know how to want you like you want me I learnt my lines from better poets than me Did you build your own crooked highway? Did you follow the boys from the E Street to the promised land? Did you cross the ocean with those bugs and make it to Ohio? Can you tell that I want to hold your hand? And do you think of us as lace and leather? Would I call myself emotionally yours? Is this a love to last through all four seasons? Are you as tired as I am of metaphors? Because above it all I wanna know; Where do you go and how can I find you? Where do you go and how can I find you? Where do you go and how can I find you? Where do you go? Where do you go? Where do you go and how can I reach you? Where do you go and how can I reach you? Where do you go and how can I reach you? I’ve got a new game You pretend I’m something special And I’ll read you the poetry I’ve written on my phone Some things just don’t change I know that I cry so easily But I don’t need to earn that part of me I reckon it runs in my family I’m not a perfect conversationalist And we both wish it hadn’t come to this We both wish our heads had started out more clearly I’m not a perfect conversationalist I don’t know how to be a thing you’ll miss I don’t know how to want you like you want me But where do you go and how can I reach you? Where do you go and how can I reach you? Where do you go and how can I reach you? Where do you go? Where do you go? Where do you go and how can I find you? Where do you go and how can I find you? Where do you go and how can I find you? Where do you go? Where do you go? Where do you...?
2.
Here Now 03:13
The flight was late And so was the train The wheels broke on my case So yes, I’ll apologise again I don’t have the ten dollars No rideshare money left I flushed my rating for my friends So yeah, maybe it’s for the best The train trip seemed to go for hours The rain hit, soaked the city to the skin And I’ve got no idea how much is different Got no idea exactly how long it’s been But I’m here now I’m here now And you’re here now Oh I’m here now I’m here now And you’re here now I’m so glad you’re here now
3.
Start Again 04:06
I’ve got great news for you darling I’m not the girl you thought I was back then It’s not a problem I took all the things we misspoke and misread I’ve gone and forgot them I washed them off with sea water and soap And one day I’ll have a body that your hands have never touched Every seven years a new cell sits where each old one was I’ve got a feeling that however something ends In our bodies down to our souls we were built to start again (hmmm, hmmm) I’ve got great news for you darling I’m sure you’re more than what I’ve got stored in my head It’s not a problem We could be bitter or we could grow instead If we forgive, there’s no need to forget Not yet But one day I’ll have a body that your hands have never touched Every seven years a new cell sits where each old one was I’ve got a feeling that however something ends In our bodies down to our souls we were built to start again There’s room here for forgiveness Things grow and change and people can as well I’m sorry I didn’t say Hi When I saw you on the street with someone else I guess I just got shy You looked so unsure My body felt like hell (So I guess it’s just as well) That one day our lives little circles are barely gonna touch Every seven years I might wake up not who I was I’ve got a feeling that wherever something ends In our bodies down to our souls If we start before we get too old With a bit of patience and a steady hand I really do believe we can Start again
4.
We sit around the kitchen table Like everything’s fine as if every timeline Leads us to this moment As if anything’s promised at all But still, the question hangs in the air What if one thing had gone slightly different in there? My Dad put it succinctly; This would have been a very different evening for our family. I can still hear the back windows shatter Still feel everything that matters Racing round my head We don’t scream, we look at one another instead I reach across the car to you and look you in the eye And both of us are wondering Is this how we die? I’ll probably forget how the glass sparkled that day How it glittered in piles all over the highway As the safety bubble I didn’t realise I had Was shattered once again I don’t think I’ll forget How time seemed to freeze as the car spun a hundred and eighty degrees And we lay there for ten seconds Just glad to be and breathe And sit around the kitchen table As I hope to do again, as many times as I’m able Don’t take them from me Lord, I know I couldn’t bear it Feeling so blessed to sit round this table and share it with you
5.
I bled a heart-shaped stain onto the best bed sheets I wish that was the metaphor that’d be less embarrassing I scrubbed and scrubbed in the bathroom sink but it wouldn’t wash away I guess some marks we make upon the world can’t help but stay I’ve got ink on my hands I’ve got blood on my tongue I don’t know if I’ll grow out of it, is this just what it’s like being young? To leave a stain on everything you touch To leave a stain on everything you touch I watched my parents brew coffee in the same pot every weekend as a kid That thing came to our Sunday service whenever we did 10am would roll around and they’d put the kettle on The coffee stain love left behind stayed though that church is gone Yeah the coffee stain love left behind stayed though that church is gone I’ve got ink on my hands I’ve got blood on my tongue I don’t think we grow out of it, it’s not about being young Love leaves a stain on everything you touch Yes love leaves a stain on everything you touch Love, you leave a stain on everything you touch
6.
This is a song for Woody and the family that he loved Ma and Papa, Roy and Clara in the Okemah sun Round the state of Oklahoma running wild as they come This song’s for Woodrow Guthrie and the family that he loved And I know what you lost in the fire I couldn’t bear to lose And I know that in all of my wandering I never walked half the miles that you did in your beat up shoes So this is a song for the poet Writing sweet songs of the dustbowl as a child In oil towns and Grandma’s house On trains across the South Yes this song’s for the poet living hand and song to mouth Writing songs for peace and rabble-rousing Who dared to stand up straight and stare the power down I wrote a song for Woody because he told the truth What a brave and beautiful thing to do And I know what you lost in the fire I couldn’t bear to lose And I know that in all of my wandering I never walked half the miles that you did in your beat-up shoes But I wrote a song for Woody because he told the truth And I want to do that too
7.
We Build 04:29
You showed up on a Tuesday With a suitcase and your thousand-watt smile You said it’d been a hard week And it had been that way for a while We talk for several hours And fall asleep on the floor I think we’re both kind of mourning The way we’ve been before But we build each other’s energy Make a thousand plans to half-complete We try our best to just be honest Burning ourselves out Telling each other to rest Hey, babe, what are you making? Does your head still feel the same? Me too, oh man I’m still so lonely I’m tired of my body; it’s been months and I’m still in pain I called and told you how I once threw up beside the fanciest car I’d ever seen It was a vintage Jag in gleaming black The interiors looked pristine I was kneeling in the rain after throwing myself out of an Uber pool The perfect moment to abandon any last pretences of being cool You said hey babe haven’t we all been there? Well I have, so at least you’re not alone You can have a key to my place We’ll talk it over when and if I make it home Thank God we build each other’s energy Make a thousand plans to half complete Both got sky-high expectations that we’re terrified we won’t meet Drinking cheap champagne and crying in a filthy Sydney back street We build each other’s energy Make a thousand plans to half complete Both got sky high expectations that we’re terrified we won’t meet Dancing til we’re falling asleep on our feet Drinking cheap champagne and crying in a filthy Sydney back street
8.
On a bus speeding out of Massachusetts If you could go back would you still choose this? Are you still scared of the same things you were when you whispered to me in the dark? So much has changed but I still know your heart (I carry it in my heart) We’re not the same but I still know your heart (I carry it in my heart) Haven’t been like this in months Not since she called you to talk it all out You’re shaking and breathing way too fast Don’t know how to write it all down We don’t talk about it enough Grabbing tissues from the bathroom in the dark Big highway crash outside of the city Still making jokes between the nitty gritty I was nervous that we’d be distant but here we are So much has changed but you still know my heart (You carry it in your heart) We’re not the same but you still know my heart (You carry it in your heart) And I stood beside you all those years In the pews in our mini skirts I’m glad we can talk about it now Even though it hurts When you were little we were walking home one night A car followed us under the street lights I held your hand tight Said “Come on, we’re gonna run in 3, 2, 1…” So much has changed but I still know your heart (I carry it in my heart) We’re not the same but I still know your heart (I carry it in my heart) So much has changed but you still know my heart
9.
Reservoir 03:34
I don’t want to cause any more pain But I walked around the reservoir and it was like I heard your name From the plants growing through the ice in this endless frozen Boston January I know with what I’ve done and said I should be ashamed And you know me; you know I am, I know exactly who’s to blame It doesn’t help but I never meant any of it to hurt you like it did (But it did) The water’s frozen solid And I’m alone again quite naturally And I never really got it I never really saw what you saw in me And I’ve gotta tell you None of this turned out the way I hoped it would I don’t want to pour salt on the same raw skin But I walked around the reservoir And thought of you again; Those flowers growing through the ice, like not everything that gets cold dies In a place like this In a place like this Where I don’t feel the fears that stop me I don’t let the current drop me I know it’s too late to take anything back I want to give you better than that But I’ll settle for getting Settle for getting Settle for getting older And wiser At the same time At the same time
10.
Visions 06:41
I see visions of it all the time; A car hits me at pace and my whole body goes flying In my mind there’s this extra moment as I’m thrown towards the sky I swear it’s a dream about floating, not a dream about dying I had this vision of a time other than now Your little flat needs painting and all of us are in town The day is nothing special we just paint and mooch around But time has passed and we’re all together That one stuck, I wrote it down I see visions of it every once in a while Things un-break themselves and when you see me you smile We meet in a strange city and we fit just like we did I think you’re finally happy We’ve forgiven everything That’s what I meant That’s what I meant When I told you I get lost in my own head That’s what I meant (I see visions of it) That’s what I meant (I see visions) When I said I wanted to be one of your old friends I had this time of dreaming only of violent accidents Nobody’s fault, no ill intent I’d wake up feeling like I’d slept on stones Twisted, heart and body, hopelessly alone But the dreams that I have where the future’s bright Are the dreams where you’re happy and I’m in your life And I can’t say I love you much clearer than that can I? I had this vision of a baby in your arms Little curly-headed angel Your place has a view of central park You’re barefoot in the kitchen Still making us all laugh Mum and Dad entertain your baby We baked that damn cherry pie at last And that’s what I meant (I see visions of it) That’s what I meant (I see visions) When I said I reckon it could turn out alright in the end That’s what I meant (I see visions of it) That’s what I meant (I see visions) When I said I’ve got spare optimism and I’m willing to lend That’s what I meant (I see visions of it) That’s what I meant (I see visions) When I said I reckon it could turn out alright in the end That’s what I meant (I see visions of it) That’s what I meant (I see visions) When I said if you can’t see it you can have these visions in my head Because I reckon it’s gonna be alright (I see visions of it, I see visions) It’s gonna be alright (I see visions of it, I see visions) I reckon it’s gonna be alright (I see visions of it, I see visions) It’s gonna be alright (I see visions of it, I see visions)

about

This album was recorded in a studio that no longer exists, with friends I haven't seen in more than a year, in the big old "before". But I think the intervening year means it only feels more precious to have survived so far, and to get to release it now.

It's about change, love and starting again; deciding to tell the truth, to do the next good thing. It's a celebration of, (and looking forward to), seeing people you love, face to face, no matter how long it's been, and despite everything, relishing the chance to be here, now.

credits

released August 6, 2021

Engineered and produced by Bob Mallory
Mastered by Alex de Turk
Written and produced by Isobel Knight
Music played by Rachel Moon, Nick Sucre, Peter Toronto, Dan Pflueger, Dave Scalia, Katie Jacoby, Joe Hockey, Tim Dunne, Bob Mallory and Isobel Knight
Additional engineering by Matt Wykniet

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about

Isobel Knight Sydney, Australia

Heart-on-sleeve alt-folk. Isobel wields razor-sharp lyrics and voice that ranges from gentle storytelling to soulful smoothness. Her sophomore album "Here Now" came out in 2021, debuting at number 5 on the independent album charts.

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